Your Hero’s Journey - A guide for women over 40
Answer the call to adventure in the next half of life.
“Answering the call means uncertainty. What is certain is growth.”
When was the last time you felt fully alive?
By the end of this article you should be able to craft your transformation statement.
When was the last time you felt fully alive?
I mean think about it? When was the last time you came home and you were dying to talk about how great your day was? When was the last time you felt purposeful, relevant, significant? When were you so clear about where you want to go and what you want to do that you jump out of bed in the morning?
Write a quick story about that in your journal. What is it about that time that made you feel alive? I challenge you to write a short story about it. What were you doing? Who were you with? What about it made you feel alive? What feelings were going through you?
Believe it or not 9 out of 10 entrepreneurs I talk to do not remember what makes them come alive. And the small percentage that do remember, they answer “When I travel”.
I’m not talking about the joy you find in something temporary. I am talking about feeling alive because you feel your power and you feel everything is flowing. No friction, no resistance - you are in the zone.
What activities bring you joy that time just passes by? What is it that you love to do that you don’t mind doing it even if you did not get paid for it? What brings a smile to your face and a content heart?
It’s time to rediscover that.
What is your biggest frustration about creating the life you want today?
Do you feel like you have to take care of everybody? Are you taking care of loved ones, employees, businesses. Do you put yourself last? Do you feel guilty when you focus on your self?
What is the one thing you are missing about living a full life?
Is it time with family? More time for yourself? More time to do the things you want to explore? Writing? Music? Art? A new hobby or sport you’ve always said you’d make time for? Maybe its adventure travel to test your limits. Why haven’t you pursued these?
So you now know what brings you joy and what makes you come alive. You know what you are missing about living a full life. What is it that you truly want now?
What do you want in the next 3 years? Write the date today and the date in 3 years. How old will you be? Where do you want to be? What do you want to be doing? What are you creating? Who are you doing these with?
A lot of unhappy people actually don’t know what they want. They say “I never get what I want”. When you ask them to say in one sentence what it is they truly want, they can’t articulate it. It’s almost as if we were trained to just say “life is hard and I cant ever get what I want”.
A genie comes out of a bottle and you cant believe it! Finally you can ask for anything but you don’t know what to ask for. Be genie ready. Can you say in one sentence what it is you want?
If you want to know what it is you truly want, ask yourself: What is important to me right now? What is one thing if accomplished would totally change my life towards the direction that I want.
What is one thing if gained would make everyday happy for me? What is it that makes me come alive?
So where are you stuck?
What is stopping you from creating the best rest of your life? And ask yourself if that is a real or imagined obstacle. Have you taken time to strategize how you can get unstuck?
You have a pretty clear picture about what makes you come alive, what you enjoy doing, what you truly want, and where you feel stuck.
Where you currently feel stuck, this is your Point A. Your current state.
Some people feel overwhelmed while some feel a sense of underwhelm. Some are bored while others are anxious. Some are confused about their direction. Some are scared to get out of their comfort zone.
Let move to discovering your point B.
From Point A to Point B
Deciding to get to point B means there is a bridge to cross and under that bridge is an abyss. When people feel stuck, it is because the fear of uncertainty stops them. “What if I fall? What if I fail? What if I don’t like whats out there? I am a master in my current world and I will be a beginner in the new world. I think I’ll stay right here”.
Fear stops most people.
Some people would rather be unhappy than uncertain.
While the comfort zone is a lovely place, nothing ever grows there. Outside your comfort zone is where the magic happens. So seek discomfort and dare mighty things.
If you got sick today, which dreams would be left unfulfilled?
Craft your Transformation Statement
So lets craft your transformation statement:
I want to go from _____________ to_____________ so that…….
This is your current state to the state of being you want to be in.
Your point a to point b.
For example:
I want to go from living on auto-pilot to feeling inspired so that I can live the life I want after50.
Or, I want to go from confusion to clarity so I can finally be my best self.
Or, I want to go from complacent to energized and empowered so I can finally pursue a life true to myself - not one others expect of me.
Knowing your current state today and where you want to be in 1-3 years plus the motivation or the WHY is important. I want you to get a post it note and write yours down.
If you do not have a post it note in front of you that reminds you everyday, you will not get to point B. Put it somewhere where you see it daily - let’s say your bathroom mirror. Say it to your self 3 or more times a day. Imagine what point B looks like. How you feel when you are at point B.
Accept that the road to get there will be scary and uncertain. Know that not answering the call will lead you to stay stuck and lead you to a crisis. Hey, even if we were great at high school, we still needed to go to college. We can’t stay in the same stage forever. The road may be uncertain, but one thing certain is growth.
This is your Hero’s Journey
A hero is trying to find herself. She goes on an unexpected journey. It tests her character and strength. She meets the villain and goes into battle that tests her resolve. She meets friends and allies along the way. In the end is a triumphant return to home.
Just think:
Wizard of Oz - Dorothy, You’re not in Kansas anymore.
Hunger Games - Katniss has to leave district 12 and is dragged to a world far away.
Harry Potter - lives in a cupboard under the stairs and has to battle Voldemort.
Star Wars - Luke leaves the farm on Tattoine.
The Matrix - Mr. Anderson starts as a bored programmer.
It’s a common narrative where the hero answers the call to adventure, goes off to the unfamiliar world, learns a few lessons, fights a villain, wins even if we wondered how they can defeat such a strong adversary, then makes their way home to their familiar world - transformed. Thanks to Joseph Campbell who laid out for us the 17 stages of the journey.
These are the 3 basic stages that apply to your own journey:
Departure. The hero leaves the ordinary world to answer the call to adventure. She is uncertain, and unsure and wants to refuse the call. She is unwilling to leave her comfort zone or face her fear. After much hesitation, a mentor appears who advises her to answer the call.
Initiation. The hero enters the special world where she encounters challenges and tasks and faces the main obstacle. She practices and applies everything she has learned so far to win and overcome. In most stories, we fear that the hero will not make it and die - but then they triumph in the end.
Return. The hero leaves to go back to the ordinary world as a changed person. Sometimes the hero attains some kind of “elixir” or something that will save her home or her people. The hero balances who she was before the journey and who she is now after undergoing a metamorphosis. She balances the material world with the spiritual enlightenment.
These stories inspire me because we know that although the adventure is scary, the right people and lessons will come to help you and in the end you are reborn. You are wiser, better and best of all, you can change things and help people.
So get back to your post it note. Write your point A to point B plus your motivation.
Today is your current reality. 1-3 years from now is your desired reality. Why do you want this? Then we will work on how to get there. I will show you a framework and tools and be your guide in your journey.
Craft your statement. There is also a page to do this in the workbook. Got to VitaminCEO.com and download the free workbook. Spend time in reflection and dive deep!
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Define what it is you truly want. Be very clear and write it down in one sentence.
Identify what is getting in the way or where you feel stuck.
Craft your transformation statement and post it on a wall. Read it daily.
I ask you to become the CEO of your most important business, your life. This will be one of the most gratifying and satisfying projects you can do for your Self today.
Get new tools about how to create the life you want after 40 every Friday. Download our free workbook or sign up for our free class so you end up on our mailing list. If you want daily micro lessons, follow us on IG @LITbyVitaminCEO.
Drop me a note and book a call if you want to chat more. I can’t wait to hear your story and help you create a new one.
My calendar link is on vitaminCEO.com
“It’s time to balance who you were before the journey and who you are now, after the transformation.”
Drop me a note if you want to chat more. I can’t wait to hear your story and help you create a new one.
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